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The Subtle Ways Into that CERTAIN Person's Heart [entries|friends|calendar]
stupid girls with doomed love lives

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[30 Jun 2004|07:35pm]
i saw another guy with a beautiful mohawk yesterday at Great America. actually, i saw seven people with mohawks yesterday, but one guy in particular stood out.
the horrible thing is that i really wanted to talk to him, and we'd have plenty to talk about i'm sure, but i lack the confidence to go up to people and initiate conversation.
that's what always kills things, and that's why i have a doomed love life...
i do try to gather some confidence though, but since i don't have much to begin with, it takes a while and only in a certain kind of situation to gather it up and once i do it's way too late.
i always feel so inferior to guys i like because they always seems so awesome to me (though i usually don't get any opportunities to see if that's really true, but it's always my first impression) and i feel like such a nobody, no matter how much it seems like i have a chance to win over his attention.
sometimes i think it's just the mohawks that make me attracted to people, but most of the time the people themselves are that much more beautiful for having the nerve to get a mohawk and being able to pull it off. mohawks are kind of like starting points, if i got to know them and they wound up getting it chopped off, i'd still like them. i'm sure i'm not so shallow that i'd automatically stop liking them otherwise. the person makes the mohawk, in my opinion...

my friend says my problem is that i'm like a dog chasing after a car. once i get the car stopped i don't know what to do with it.

i think it's mostly true.
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[02 May 2004|11:36pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]

This is a really inactive community, isn't it?
Ah, well, thought I'd post here anyway, and at least no one has to listen to my silly whining ^___^;

The very beginning of the doomed-ness that is my love life, began when I was eight or so years old. (I started young... Stop laughing.) There was this guy, about nine, who was the oldest adopted son of a family who was friends with my family.
... God, I think I just confused MYSELF.

Anyway, so the guy and I... didn't get along. At all. At ALL. We glared at each other from across the room. He pushed me. I threw books at him. Ehehe... I was a rather violent eight year old.

So, this one time, we were calling each other a few of our usual childish insults, when this really, really, random thing happened. He sort of... leaned over and kissed me.
I completely FREAKED. I've always been ridiculously overdramatic and everything, but I might have surpassed my usual standards. ^_____^; Heh...

So I sicced the dog on him.
It wasn't what you'd think! Honest! The dog didn't just get up and attack him, my dog's nice! He's a sweetie! He... growled a bit. A lot. And then this guy yelped and sprinted up the stairs.

I've had many occasions since then with, okay, I'll say his name. Chris. Ugh, I said it. We've met up numerous times, including once this past New Year's. I insulted his intelligence, and it should have been so, so fun. But it wasn't.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! It isn't fair! I think I may be completely and utterly OBSESSED with the guy! ... It SO isn't fair. It isn't. It isn't. It isn't. He's a jerk! But... I like him anyway. T__T WHY? WHY?!

And there you are, the story of my doomed love life.
Okay, my whining and angsting is finished. Heh, just an update to keep the community alive, not to mention get this stuff out of my conscience. I feel loads better now.

5 comments|post comment

*TEAR* [19 Apr 2004|10:23pm]

You know, as much as this community is really inactive, I WANT A FREAKING ICON FOR IT!!!

I would adore making one for it, but my paint shop pro is keeping secrets from me and I can't customize the fonts. >.< FRUSTRATION!!!

But but BUT!! If someone managed to make a TOTALLY RANDOM ICON, hearts out to you!!!

soo... do your best, and kick as much ass as you can!
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[03 Mar 2004|08:13pm]

[ mood | Decisive thinking time! ]

AHH! Class registrations!!! What to do, What to do?!?!

What are you doing?

Me? I'm a boring person whose classes won't be changing much. The largest change to my schedule for math
Read more...Collapse )
Other than that... I don't really think much. I would like to do this proforming arts thing that's at 7th period. But I have marching band... maybe I can get them to do something about that... Who knows...

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We're dead [07 Feb 2004|11:41pm]

Hey..you guys are all dead, eh?
1 comment|post comment

[21 Dec 2003|08:10pm]

[ mood | *whistling ]

Ah...life has been good so far....

i've been hearing a lot of DJ's on the radio talk about people and Christmas, just them either trying to persuade people not to do anything stupid over hoidays, or just making fun of them.

One radio host was talking aobut how some people get the nerve to propose to people on christmas, since it's such an auspicious day. of course, half of them have their's hearts wrenched out and stomped on as a result. i sort of thought that the people are really irrational when it gets to some commitment thing around the holidays. If it's just the date that they thinks it important, then why have to do it around that holiday? why not just create your own holiday by doing it another day?? >.< media also encourages this.... with all the jewelry swapping with the 'every kiss begins with k'

And the other was a warning to people about stupid things... suicide around a holiday.... methinks that some people's reason to do such rash things are because they are alone and on their own, without a loved one. this one frustrates me... just a little bit. christmas is fabled to be a holiday in which people connect with one another, supposied bonding time. Christmas, like any other american holiday, is ove done by the media. The real reason for is lost, within our materialistic needs.
The only thing that i can think of that we celebrate christmas is tradition. And *gasp* we can't break tradition. It's not right! so, we celebrate.

So! people!!! celebrate it!! That's FINE!!! but don't do STUPID THINGS JUST BECAUSE IT'S A HOLIDAY!!! NO GOOD FREAKING REASON.

i'm lost in what i was trying to get across...

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Yes my doomed love life. So yeah, I’m posting because of yreal. Well let’s see here... [10 Dec 2003|08:01pm]

[ mood | tired ]

x akumu x (11:42:38 AM): wanna give me some advice nee-san?
Arcanica (11:46:38 AM): sure
x akumu x (11:46:53 AM): say your best friend <----viet
Arcanica (11:47:00 AM): yeah
x akumu x (11:47:07 AM): gets a gf and kinda ignores you
x akumu x (11:47:19 AM): the thing is that you had this big crush on him for like 2 years
x akumu x (11:47:29 AM): (And yeah he knows, you already told him)
x akumu x (11:47:33 AM): anyways
x akumu x (11:47:50 AM): when you first find out about his little gf<---julia yamamoto
x akumu x (11:48:00 AM): you get kinda really jealous
x akumu x (11:48:10 AM): it's a normal reaction of course, you are only human
x akumu x (11:48:14 AM): so you do a stupid thing
x akumu x (11:48:58 AM): you go to a jerk named ronald <---he liked julia before and he doesn't seem to like viet, naturally you go to him in hope of breaking them up
x akumu x (11:49:14 AM): he doesn't seem very interested in the whole thing
x akumu x (11:49:35 AM): he just likes watching you being jealous and suffering
Arcanica (11:49:39 AM): o_O
x akumu x (11:49:49 AM): anyways
x akumu x (11:50:18 AM): your feelings for viet are like a rollarcoaster
x akumu x (11:50:21 AM): up and down they go
x akumu x (11:50:23 AM): <><
x akumu x (11:50:28 AM): anyways,
x akumu x (11:50:47 AM): one day you're bored and you aim ronald in hopes of company and amusement
x akumu x (11:51:22 AM): your friend at school<-----asami, who happens to have known julia for quite a while through japanese school
x akumu x (11:51:44 AM): has already you a lovely story about ronald that you just had to hear from himself for yourself
x akumu x (11:51:59 AM): so you talk to him, butter him up and get ready for the story
x akumu x (11:52:36 AM): (he and julia went out, she cheated on him by going out with viet, not the first time, other's have been hurt too... what-not)
x akumu x (11:52:57 AM): he finally tells you and then you discovered that he and julia have a little "war" going on
x akumu x (11:53:03 AM): they are both out to get each other
x akumu x (11:53:24 AM): after being nice to him (for the story) he adds you to his list of ppl on his side in the war
x akumu x (11:53:42 AM): he says that he "needs" you and that you are an important part of his force
x akumu x (11:53:57 AM): this is because you are viet's best friend and he trusts you
Arcanica (11:54:02 AM): o-O
Arcanica (11:54:05 AM): oh shit
x akumu x (11:54:08 AM): <><
x akumu x (11:54:10 AM): yeah i knnow
x akumu x (11:54:29 AM): his story was so sad and sappy you kind of feel sorry for him
x akumu x (11:54:33 AM): <><
x akumu x (11:54:54 AM): and even though there is a chance that he is lying, you go along with it to make him happy
x akumu x (11:55:16 AM): (besides all of his force has code name, his is vile and mine was jasmine)
x akumu x (11:55:24 AM): (from the movie secondhand lions)
Arcanica (11:55:31 AM): hahaha
Arcanica (11:55:37 AM): vile, switched arond, spells evil
x akumu x (11:55:42 AM): <><
x akumu x (11:55:44 AM): yeah
x akumu x (11:56:14 AM): julia has a little force her own including viet (your best friend/crush) and another one of your close friends (Asami)
x akumu x (11:56:24 AM): so you're split in half
x akumu x (11:56:34 AM): first you're partly on ronald's side
x akumu x (11:56:46 AM): and then you're working as a double agent
Arcanica (11:56:51 AM): o-O
x akumu x (11:57:12 AM): (only viet doesn't know this, so he still feels bitter towards you and doesn't really trust you)
Arcanica (11:57:18 AM): "Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive"
x akumu x (11:57:26 AM): then you just get sick of it all
x akumu x (11:57:29 AM): and stop
x akumu x (11:58:05 AM): anyways i build up all this trust and a special bond between me and my vietie
x akumu x (11:58:10 AM): but...............
x akumu x (11:58:25 AM): i screw it all up for a bit of fun and a few laughs
x akumu x (11:58:42 AM): viet doesn't talk to me a lot anymore
x akumu x (11:58:48 AM): and he seem very close to me
x akumu x (11:59:22 AM): i know he's busy with school, college (he's a senior and he totally screwed up in his junior year because of depression and his parents) and well yeah his gf
x akumu x (11:59:58 AM): but you kinda feel like "okay viet! look at me! pay attention i'm still here you know! you're still one of my best friends!"
x akumu x (12:00:05 PM): <><
x akumu x (12:00:17 PM): you kinda feel like you lost everything
Arcanica (12:00:53 PM): ouch
x akumu x (12:01:26 PM): because most of your friends went to Oak Grove, the ppl you hang out at school... you don't really hate or like... you can't ditch them to hang out with other friends, because your "best friend" alysssa hangs out with them and she always defends you and stuff....
x akumu x (12:02:17 PM): all your close friends you only talk through with aim, and your parents don't let you use aim so you can't even really talk when you want and you constantly have to watch out for getting caught
x akumu x (12:02:38 PM): you just feel sorta alone and bored with life itself
x akumu x (12:03:03 PM): and then you remember about all the good times you had with viet, esp. the tet trung thu festival at st. patrick
x akumu x (12:03:29 PM): and you feel like you're falling into this endless abyss and no one's there to caught you
Arcanica (12:03:34 PM): you mus tmiss him
x akumu x (12:03:45 PM): even when viet promised that he'd catched you if you ever fell
x akumu x (12:04:10 PM): heh
x akumu x (12:04:24 PM): he used to like another girl, melissa ly
x akumu x (12:04:31 PM): she got a bf sometime over the summer
x akumu x (12:04:40 PM): he finally stopped liking her around august or so
x akumu x (12:04:51 PM): and you remember how happy you were when you found out
x akumu x (12:05:29 PM): and during that time between when he stopped liking melissa and when he started going out with julia......
x akumu x (12:06:04 PM): you felt so happy and free, and you loved him so much and you realized that you rather have him as a best friend forever
x akumu x (12:06:24 PM): it's not that i'm jealous of julia and viet......
x akumu x (12:06:28 PM): i was...
x akumu x (12:06:38 PM): but now, i just want my best friend back
Arcanica (12:07:55 PM): hmm, do you t hink he feels angry at you ?
x akumu x (12:08:05 PM): a bit maybe
x akumu x (12:09:19 PM): anyways i have leave soon to go to lasan
Arcanica (12:09:28 PM): I see nothing wrong with coming up to him, telling him you feel bad (re:sorry) for being jealous of his gf, taking sides, creating drama etc. and that you really value him greatly and and miss his friendship
Arcanica (12:09:44 PM): that he means a lot to you and stuff.
x akumu x (12:09:52 PM): heh
x akumu x (12:09:55 PM): <><
x akumu x (12:09:56 PM): yeah
Arcanica (12:09:56 PM): how he takes it from there is his part, but I think that's the best you can do
x akumu x (12:10:18 PM): thanks sis!
Arcanica (12:10:33 PM): no prob, have fun at lasan yo
x akumu x (12:10:36 PM): "i don't think that life's that simple" - utada hikaru
x akumu x (12:10:38 PM): hai!
Arcanica (12:10:40 PM): yesh
x akumu x (12:10:42 PM): i mean oui
x akumu x (12:10:43 PM): ....
x akumu x (12:10:44 PM): <><
Arcanica (12:10:47 PM): haha but an apology works
x akumu x (12:10:50 PM): i do that in my french class
Arcanica (12:10:52 PM): I love that song
Arcanica (12:10:53 PM): hahahahah

seee? ME fine Nati.

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doomedlovelives..... [10 Dec 2003|05:36pm]

ah...well, this community is umm... interestingly dead...

the originator has not been posting... rather horrible ordeal around there...

anyways, what might happen is just us typing about weird things that we might do with our love lives...

I am supposidly going to be a scandelous nun *i'll explain later*, Nagrom is *hopefully* in the process of creating a list of stuff she has married her body parts to, whether or not she has cancel them or not. nicoli is doing something.

ANYWAYS!!! just find some to post, just freaking do it. our love lives are doomed, thus creating a reason for us to be even posting on this.

i really don't see if we have to REALLY have a purpose for even posting... you should just be DOING this.


people, you are encouraged to post!!! you are members for a reason!!!

do i have to find things for you people to post about?!?! argh...

whatever, just do it!! now.
2 comments|post comment

hi [10 Dec 2003|03:19am]

it's andrea

i joined this thing a long time ago...like in 7th grade or something?

but yes, i see that we're all dead here...:)
3 comments|post comment

the start of the DEAD people log [05 Nov 2003|07:01am]

REMEMBER this is not a prediction, but a fun thing in which you make up your death! have fun!

Things that may happen that may induce your speacial ending:

~Involved in Mafia
~Plane Crash
and more...

List of how some people are going to die. you cannot claim one of these and you have to make up your own unless you choose to ask.

~die in sleep
~die from crossfire as a reasult of mafia
~die from falling from your bed reasulting in a cuncussion
~die by suicide from falling of bridges,boats,buildings,*lots o' bs*, cliffs.
~die by beating from old lady
~die from spontaneous combustion
~die reasulting from plane crash to roanoak island
~die hijacking a plane but did not exit the plane when it was going over a cliff
~die by poison

Things you may claim...

i have no idea but i'm just posting this because i started this a heck of a long time ago... so i bid you adieu
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[06 Oct 2003|09:47pm]

You must like to spank or be spanked, because your
romance is remeniscent of Secretary. A truly
modern love story, it shows that you don't need
to be conventional to be normal. You're
probably the type that owns a whole lot more
leather than what's upholstering your car or
sofa. Yeah, you know what I mean.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAH!! that's horrible!!!XD!!! *sorry to the morgue but i had to use it!
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Do you ever... [11 Aug 2003|10:55am]

Do you ever get the feeling that you can actually connect with a certain person?

When you talk to them, everything just makes so much more sense...

and you're just not so scared anymore.

Do you ever get the feeling that someone really is there?

When you look at them, you see so much through their eyes...

and you feel like you're just at home.

Do you ever get the feeling that someone actually understands you?

When you talk to them, they feel everything you're saying...

and you're just not so alone anymore.
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[30 Jul 2003|07:32pm]

You are the Figher Femme

i'm on a spree, what can i say?

but i didn't think of this one.... does anyone think that this looks like lara croft?
2 comments|post comment

Weird Word Dictionary [30 Jul 2003|12:46am]

My love life is so doomed that I got bored enough to write a dictionary of any fun words I come across.

Anova-originated by a guy, Morgan and I pestered alot, Thai. i think he had a girl friend or something.
Mwee-made by Morgan, oh so many centuries ago. I don't even think she remembers how she made it up
Squee-No, I didn't rip it off of Vasquez. It was an ordinary noise that I didn't think much of it
Polimg-Trying to type out 'poking' on a foreign Imac keyboard. Happiness
Yayism-Estactic me, repling to Morgan,
Spiffi-er-a-li-fic~Spiffy was too boring for me.*warning! spellings change*
Blarg-A onomatopoeia used when angry or, more likely, frustrated.

that's all for now!
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Hey there, chickas! [29 Jul 2003|02:27pm]

[ mood | confident ]

Hail Sheda. Haha. Not quite, but at least welcome me lovingly. :) You know you want to.

I want to apologize for not posting in Stupid Girls with Doomed Love Lives because previously, it wouldn't give me the option of posting there. And now it does! ^_^

If I can recall, this whole thing started as a joke between myself, mss_vampy and Andrea. Later, we started to recruit some members and before you know it, Morgan created this community which we all love so much. :)

Now that I think of it, I'm not a stupid girl (all the time) :P, nor do I have a "doomed love life." It's just that most guys our age have a way of annoying the shnikies out of me.

Freshman year should be better. Anyway, cheers to you all...

4 comments|post comment

My Sad Sad Story [27 Jun 2003|01:58pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

I will just give you a brief preview of what i've been going through since about September of 2002. Mss_Vampy, Yrael, and Sheda all know this story... Ok there is this guy named Redmond.. Me and him had Math together last year. Well he went out w/ my friend Lucy.. who totally like hurt him by cheating on him with one of his own friends. Well they ended up still being friends and since Lucy was the only one I was friends with in my Math class where ever she went to go sit when ever we changed seats i went. And i ended up sitting nexted to Redmond. I havent told any of my friends this but i have had a crush on him since Dec. Well one day Lucy and this guy named Chris who is redmond's friend was absent.. soo that lefted me and Redmond alone sitting in the back of the room bored to death. Once my math teacher let us talk which is for about 99% of the period.. we started to talk about mindless junk.. but it ended up making us laugh like hell and making our stoumac's hurt from laughing soooo much. Well we became friends. About a week later my birthday came. Redmond forgot that it was my birthday which i though was gonna happen cuse he barly knew me. But he gave me a sticker that he begged off of Lucy which i thought was really sweet. Though now it just shows how stupid he was. But after the teacher let us talk again. me and redmond started righting notes back and forth. *a lil entry to this part of the story. For 2 weeks before me and redmond we always talking on the phone every single day for about 4 hours. And the week before he was asking me who i liked.. and we did that whole battle for me to tell him for about 4 hours every night. after while i just thought it as getting anoying and i wanted to know why.. but he wouldnt tell me.* soo that day we weer writing notes back and forth and he started asking me who i liked again.. and i think lucy could guess my the exspression on my face that he was asking me who i liked again.. and i guess he told her that he liked me... but back to the story..
He kept on asking me and i finally told him that if he tells me why i would tell him who i liked.. which was him of corse... sooo he told me why.. and it was "cuse i like you" which like made me shocked.. sooo the bell rang before i could tell him who i liked.. which i didnt want to tell him but he ended up walking me to my nexted class and i told him..
SOO we were friends still till about a month later.
It was a week b4 Christmas Break. And it was his Birthday now... i had found out his fav candy and bought him 2 king size Reeses.. which was his fav candy. And then came Math again.. i saw that he was writing a note all period... and saw that it had my name on top.. of corse he went through like 10 peices of paper b4 he finally fav he the one he had finished.. i was amazed saying it took him all period to write "Will you go out with me?" in the largest handwriting i have ever seen. Of corse of was excited.. but i didnt know what i was going to say since it was like the week before Christmas Break and we wouldnt see each other for 2 weeks. Sooo i talked it over very excitingly in the locker room with my friend Andrena.. She of corse told me to go for it.. BIG MISSTAKE!... I should have waited till after Break to go out with him. Cuse the Break had riped a hole in our relishionship. and i ended up breaking up with him 3 days after we got back... I felt SOO bad. And i missed him. But we didnt talk for about 3 months.
Then we started talking again.. cuse we were friends and all... but there was alot i wanted at know.. like why he had gotten sooo distant after break and all. sooo he had gotten aim that say and i asked him. Well it turned out to become one HUGE fight that revoled me getting hurt and crying all night... which i dont know if i can forgive him for. basicly he told me why which was he was planing to break up with me the same day as me. Which hurt me alot. But that wasnt the only reason why i was hurt. I was hurt mostly cuse of my friends who i thought were supportive with me and Redmond. But they werent. They made fun of me and redmond.. exspecially my friends Areeba and Dannahn... they made harsh comments about him about how weird his nose looked and all.. when he was standing right nexted to me. I could see it in his eyes that those comments hurt him alot. but yah... Now its June. and me and Redmond have become friends again but we dont takl alot saying its summer and i dont feel comfortable calling him cuse i dont want to end up fighting... and this whole thing has sent me into a deep deep deep depression... And I cry about it consantly....

1 comment|post comment

Hello Hello Again. [27 Jun 2003|01:02pm]

[ mood | bored ]

Its been a long time since i've posted in the community.. btw its herthinia-ohki (thats my origional username) aka Sharon. I go to school with yrael, sheda, and mss_vampy. SO HI YOU GUYS! I will see ya at yrael's b-day party... i still have to find out when andrena's is.. cuse i have a feeling its on the same day... and if it is im screwed.. cuse i have to go to my best friends (yrael) and andrena who is like my second best friend... so just wanted to say hi and tell you guys im back on LJ.

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[24 May 2003|07:23pm]
well, my friend and i like the same guy
my friend and that guy have actually tried to go out on a date before
but she thinks that now they're just friends
i thinkknow she still likes him
and i know i still like him
so she offered to back off
and i did the same
because i doubt i have a chance with him anyway


i'm pretty sure it qualifies as old news by now -- to those who knew-- but i just thought i'd mention it
and i believe it works out quite nicely with the whole doomed love life thing.

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[15 May 2003|04:40pm]
Jealous? Is that what this is? Jealousy? I am jealous? Maybe, maybe I am. I don’t know why, maybe I was just already having a crappy day and Ronny flirting with Linda didn’t help. Okay Ronny liked me for a while back, but I didn’t really like him; then he liked me again, and I kind of like him but I never told him, then he stop liking me and now he hates me. Do I like him now? I don’t know, sometimes yes, sometimes no. I’m not sure right now. I don’t know why I like him. He’s kind of a jerk.

Anyways, Linda is one of my best friends. She’s pretty cool. Well one day I was talking to my ‘anh hai’ Kevin online, and well I tell him that I liked Ronny (again) and well I was such a loser I forgot to ask if Linda was in the room (she goes over to his house till her parents pick her up). Anyways I say that I don’t care. (Why should I care she’s one of my best friends!) But OMGOSH!!!! I can't believe she saw that! Anyways the night before I was bugging Linda about who she likes (I was bored okay?) So that day I made her tell me. Only with Linda we have to go through a guessing game and even after I guessed it, she makes you guess ten million more times before she'll tell you "you already got it" by then you're so confused about who she's referring to. Anyways I go "first letter?" she goes "Y" (stares at her, I didn't name anyone with a letter y) I’m like "Youta?" she goes "HELL NO" (well that was the first name that came to mind) anyways she goes it could be backwards. OH GREAT! Another backwards game, last time it was LB (Brian Le) GOD! Anyways I go… "Ronny...?" and she goes "maybe”. It’s Ronny. She’s liked him for months.

Okay so for a while, it’s okay because we can talk to each about him without anyone knowing who the hell we’re talking about, which is nice. Okay, now the background information on Ronny. Ronny is Randy’s little brother. There’s this girl, Jackie Tran, he liked her since forever, and everyone knows it. Actually one of his best friends is her little brother, Justin (who got me in hella trouble one day, because they came over to my house. ) Anyways, moving on, he also likes Linda, of coarse, but I didn’t know this until a few weeks ago when Randy told me. But it turns out that he liked her for a while, no one at school knows it, they still think that he used to like her, but stop. But Linda didn’t even know that he used to like her. Anyways I told Kevin and I guess Ronny found out that he knew. Okay now that I think that enough background information. There’s another girl that Ronny likes at the moment but we won’t get into that.

Okay, let’s see here, way back when Ronny liked me (like last summer to
November), I had this weird dream, in which, I’m with Ronny and Kevin’s with Linda. (Back then Kevin had wavering feelings about Linda). But I guess that was always a fantasy I had. Anyways, the other day Jennifer Le (the girl that Kevin currently likes, and she knows about it), Kevin, Ronny and Linda, were playing basketball 2 on 2. When I was watching them all I could think about was “Ronny and Linda…together.” A while after Linda told me that she liked Ronny, I thought about how I really felt about him. And I came to the conclusion that I didn’t like him. And since then I always tell Linda that she should go out with Ronny because I knew he liked her. I told her several times before, but I don’t think that she believed me until recently. And Ronny doesn’t know that Linda likes him.

Anyways, today at break, Kevin, Linda, Ronny, Asami, Ngoc and me were there. Asami and Ngoc were just kind of talking to each other; I was kind of listening in. But my attention was kind of to Ronny, Kevin and Linda, at the same time I was also kind of sick, so I was kind of spacey. But then I hear Ronny say that “Linda’s hot… she has really nice eyes.” He’s turning red and so is Linda, who has her back to her, because I was kind of talking to her. I don’t know why, but that hurt. It really did hurt. Was it because I was jealous? Jealous because I knew Ronny liked Linda and not me? Was that it? But I wanted them to get together for a while, why was that? Was it because I knew that they both liked each other? Was it because I wanted Linda to be happy? Was it because I wanted Ronny to be happy? Or was it because I wanted an excuse to stop wavering in my feelings for Ronny? So every time I think about liking him, I could go “no, he has Linda”? Was that it? Was that why? I just don’t know. I really don’t.
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[23 Apr 2003|11:53am]
this guy likes me... kinda... he's not sure... >< he's two years older than me and we never met..
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