Jealous? Is that what this is? Jealousy? I am jealous? Maybe, maybe I am. I don’t know why, maybe I was just already having a crappy day and Ronny flirting with Linda didn’t help. Okay Ronny liked me for a while back, but I didn’t really like him; then he liked me again, and I kind of like him but I never told him, then he stop liking me and now he hates me. Do I like him now? I don’t know, sometimes yes, sometimes no. I’m not sure right now. I don’t know why I like him. He’s kind of a jerk.
Anyways, Linda is one of my best friends. She’s pretty cool. Well one day I was talking to my ‘anh hai’ Kevin online, and well I tell him that I liked Ronny (again) and well I was such a loser I forgot to ask if Linda was in the room (she goes over to his house till her parents pick her up). Anyways I say that I don’t care. (Why should I care she’s one of my best friends!) But OMGOSH!!!! I can't believe she saw that! Anyways the night before I was bugging Linda about who she likes (I was bored okay?) So that day I made her tell me. Only with Linda we have to go through a guessing game and even after I guessed it, she makes you guess ten million more times before she'll tell you "you already got it" by then you're so confused about who she's referring to. Anyways I go "first letter?" she goes "Y" (stares at her, I didn't name anyone with a letter y) I’m like "Youta?" she goes "HELL NO" (well that was the first name that came to mind) anyways she goes it could be backwards. OH GREAT! Another backwards game, last time it was LB (Brian Le) GOD! Anyways I go… "Ronny...?" and she goes "maybe”. It’s Ronny. She’s liked him for months.
Okay so for a while, it’s okay because we can talk to each about him without anyone knowing who the hell we’re talking about, which is nice. Okay, now the background information on Ronny. Ronny is Randy’s little brother. There’s this girl, Jackie Tran, he liked her since forever, and everyone knows it. Actually one of his best friends is her little brother, Justin (who got me in hella trouble one day, because they came over to my house. ) Anyways, moving on, he also likes Linda, of coarse, but I didn’t know this until a few weeks ago when Randy told me. But it turns out that he liked her for a while, no one at school knows it, they still think that he used to like her, but stop. But Linda didn’t even know that he used to like her. Anyways I told Kevin and I guess Ronny found out that he knew. Okay now that I think that enough background information. There’s another girl that Ronny likes at the moment but we won’t get into that.
Okay, let’s see here, way back when Ronny liked me (like last summer to
November), I had this weird dream, in which, I’m with Ronny and Kevin’s with Linda. (Back then Kevin had wavering feelings about Linda). But I guess that was always a fantasy I had. Anyways, the other day Jennifer Le (the girl that Kevin currently likes, and she knows about it), Kevin, Ronny and Linda, were playing basketball 2 on 2. When I was watching them all I could think about was “Ronny and Linda…together.” A while after Linda told me that she liked Ronny, I thought about how I really felt about him. And I came to the conclusion that I didn’t like him. And since then I always tell Linda that she should go out with Ronny because I knew he liked her. I told her several times before, but I don’t think that she believed me until recently. And Ronny doesn’t know that Linda likes him.
Anyways, today at break, Kevin, Linda, Ronny, Asami, Ngoc and me were there. Asami and Ngoc were just kind of talking to each other; I was kind of listening in. But my attention was kind of to Ronny, Kevin and Linda, at the same time I was also kind of sick, so I was kind of spacey. But then I hear Ronny say that “Linda’s hot… she has really nice eyes.” He’s turning red and so is Linda, who has her back to her, because I was kind of talking to her. I don’t know why, but that hurt. It really did hurt. Was it because I was jealous? Jealous because I knew Ronny liked Linda and not me? Was that it? But I wanted them to get together for a while, why was that? Was it because I knew that they both liked each other? Was it because I wanted Linda to be happy? Was it because I wanted Ronny to be happy? Or was it because I wanted an excuse to stop wavering in my feelings for Ronny? So every time I think about liking him, I could go “no, he has Linda”? Was that it? Was that why? I just don’t know. I really don’t.